19 October 2012

I Feel so Pretty... Oh-so Pretty~

The song What Make You Beautiful by One Direction embodies a societal ideal which I find grossly disturbing. I know the singers probably don’t exactly 100% mean it when they say that it’s the fact that this anonymous girl (that I’m sure a bunch of you wish you were) doesn’t know she’s beautiful (and I’ll go as far as to say that this girl has serious self-esteem issues, which is okay and normal, too) is the main reason they like her (and probably also the fact that she is beautiful despite what she thinks). And that’s okay to be into that sort of thing. To each their own and all that shit.

Let’s get this straight: I could give a fuck what songs are about (mostly they’re about fucking these days, which is nice, too) and this song doesn’t particularly bother me.

Ay! Sexy layday~

But what gets to me is, the fact that girls who know they’re beautiful? They’re bitches. They’re conceited and vain and all this shit. And I admit it, I used to think this too (in middle school).
But seriously people? In this society, it is ideal for a beautiful woman to be meek and humble about her appearance. And I get it. Humble is awesome (annoying sometimes, but awesome). But to the point of being shy and awkward and unhappy because one thinks something that is untrue is true? There's something wrong with that being what society wants from our young and beautiful girls and women. When one is truly beautiful, is it really a shock or a bad thing if she knows she is?

I’ve offended a couple of people (including my own sister!) by jokingly declaring things like “You wish you were as hot as this” or singing that song that I had thought went “I am so pretty/ Oh so pretty ♪” And all this is jokingly and during a time when I thought I was beyond ugly. Yes, it offends people. Maybe because I am kind of pretty (or maybe because I’m not?) (As you can see, I still have self-esteem issues).

I know I’m not beautiful. I know I’m not going to win a beauty contest or wet t-shirt contest anytime soon. But I know that I’m not ugly. I know that there are many guys out there that would find me attractive (and many that would not), and that there are (a few) girls out there that are jealous of my looks. And I know, I know. That sounds (without the parentheticals) super conceited. I read it now and I’m like, who is this bitch?
But logically. I’d have to be an unobservant idiot or just someone with low(er) self-esteem (than I have now) to not know that I’m not ugly.

And let me tell you, being in a constant state of self-consciousness is a fucking annoying state to be in. It’s not a bad thing (morally) but it is a bitch to not feel good about yourself.

So. It’s okay. To Feel. To Know. To Think. That You are Beautiful.