30 May 2012

I hate being part of a statistic or generalization based on race or gender but I can admit when I am part of one. And... wow.
This site is, in my opinion as a first generation Asian-American, pretty accurate. They do have some things wrong, in my experience... but I find myself agreeing to a lot of it as well.

Sexual Assault Among Soldiers

I feel like an idiot. I always thought I was rather cynical in regards to the general badness of all humans regardless of career, race, gender, etc. I always thought I was a bit paranoid and suspicious. And I am. I've wondered before on the prominence of sexual harassment in the military and army. And even I, someone who does not believe that all soldiers are heroes (more on this later), dismissed this thought.

Society has brainwashed me into believing the heroism and moral goodness of soldiers, people who have been proven to literally sell women into pretty much prostitution. Who cover up their own crimes and so on. How could I dismiss the thought that sexual assault would be so prominent in a career where men outnumbered and usually were in higher positions than women who were usually miles and miles away from their home?

from Unbreakable Project

Yes. That's right. There is sexual assault against women (and probably men, too) in the military. And not the military of a country where women are being oppressed either, but here in the United States. The military, army, marines, etc that we are so proud of. And not only when soldiers are stationed in other countries, either. Sexual assault by soldiers against their fellow lady soldiers is happening here. On home ground. And it hasn't been so much as acknowledged by the general public, or even the government. Until now... kind of.

I have never been so disappointed in the Democrats. (But remember, the Republicans haven't been good about this either.)

Sources :
Article - http://www.wnyc.org/articles/wnyc-news/2012/may/29/vets-complain-harassment-leads-sexual-assaults-military/

26 May 2012

Beware of What You Wear?

I'm pretty sure I've covered this before, but I'm going to say it again. Stop with the victim blaming! Rape is not caused by the short skirt and tight tank. It's not caused by the double shot of tequila, nor by the bedroom eyes cast around the room. It is caused by... dun dun DUN~ Rapists!

By blaming (and/shaming) the teenage, or middle-aged, or whatever aged women for being raped, simply because she was dressed a bit provocatively, or because she's just naturally sexy, is not right. That's like blaming the man wearing the tight v-neck tee (or not wearing a shirt at all) and sexy Levis for being butt raped, or raped by a woman (it happens). But guess what! No one ever blames the guy (and they shouldn't). Why? Because the guy in the provocative and sexy clothing is well, a guy!

By not blaming the guy for getting rape is the right way of thinking! We should transfer that way of thinking onto women victims, too. Why? Because that's the way we should be thinking! It's not only women who can seduce their partners. Men can and do, too. So by insisting that the female victim of the rape is somehow in the blame, for being sexy, it can be said that men are, too. Because men can be mouthwateringly delicious as well.

fuck me... please

But are they in the blame? No. And they shouldn't be. But neither should women.

Do you see my logic?

And rape isn't always about one's physical attraction to another. It can also, and usually is, a mind thing. It can be a need, or desire, to dominate another by sexual and abusive means. Many heterosexual, male serial killers raped their man victims to feel powerful. Not because of their repressed attraction towards males.

And by blaming and shaming the women for the rape makes women less willing to bring this injustice to the officials. And rapists get a jail free card. It is also alleviating some of the blame from the true suspects. The rapists. They get off some time. Sometimes they get off completely. Do we really want a society that's rampant in morally disturbed rapists that in the eyes of the law, aren't rapists?

I'd like to know that if I felt like getting sexy and all dressed up, I could. Without fear of attracting the attentions of a rapist. I shouldn't have to worry that if I get slightly tipsy, if not completely plastered, I'll be tricked into a shady alley to get fucked by a man who got off jail time and is now more brazen and confident about not getting convicted. And it'd be absolutely great to know that if I did so happened to be raped, I could get the justice I deserve, even if I may have been dressed a bit 'slutty' and regardless of if I am or am not a 'slut'.

It'd be a wonderful world, I think, if I didn't have to worry about any of that.

If only.

(P.S. In no way am I saying that male victims of rape are any less victims of rape than women. And the above quote underneath the picture of the HOT guy, I'm asking him, too. Yeah.)

19 May 2012


*NOTE: Please read to the bottom.


I want it now! Thank you Planned Parenthood for introducing me to this option through your website! It was hard to find, but VERY worth it. I'm so lucky to have found it, because people don't usually teach or tell anyone about these options, though everyone should know what their options are, and now I'll show it to you.


Permanent birth control! No incision! Office procedure!


For the second time, I must apologize for posting before more extensive research. After much scouring the web and such, I've read some awful horror stories on Essure and Adiana (and many success stories).

Most of these horror tales consist of a few more days of recovery needed than the website had promised, but some included unplanned pregnancies (Adiana), and migration of the copper coil (Essure). Other stories were a little worse, including abdominal pain and so on. Once, I read about painful sex, but the women had had another uteral or vaginal procedure done so Essure may have not been the reason, but then again, it might have.

So let this be a lesson to all, and me, do extensive research before jumping on board. All it takes is a few clicks on Google, and ta da! There it is.

Either way, I'm still considering both these options, because sometimes, the risk is worth it.

Questioning Religion

Many of my friends, being Christians, asked and wondered about my religion. Especially since I used to be Christian. And when I explained to them, one came up to me in private and shared with me her aggravations and such about Christianity. The parts that frustrated her and made her want to give up religion altogether.

My religion is one of my own. There are parts that are very similar to the Christian fate. Namely, a kind of god. But there are also parts that are very different, such as the bible (in my opinion, it's one of the worst books in the world).

I had grown up going to church every Sunday, as my mother was, and still is, a stalwart Christian. In fact, she's a Sunday teacher, teaching the little kiddies about Jesus and the bible I grew to hate. Because of this, I had accepted Christianity into my life without question. And in my opinion, this isn't the way religion should become part of someone's life. Religion should be something one chooses on their own. Anyways, this became a problem. My mother didn't necessarily suffocate me with Christianity, but ever since I was a kid who would rather spend her days playing kickball or catching bees out on a clear Sunday afternoon than hearing lectures about some God I was supposed to believe in, I rebelled against going to church. But my mother was adamant about it. Maybe this contributed to my dislike of Christianity.

My confusion and frustration with Christianity first came when I was still in my child years, when I was a steadfast animal rights activist. I hated the parts in the bible where they gave humans the rights to the rights of animals. It angered me to no end. Then came the immoralities committed by the heroes in the bible. And when I questioned some of the things that the church deemed immoral, I came up with the conclusion that no, these things aren't immoral. In fact, in many ways, the church members acted very immoral.

Christianity, along with many other religions, isn't flexible. There are many types, but it rarely changes. It's old, not that there's anything wrong with that, but it's like when scientists believed that everything revolved around the earth, back then. It was like an old, racist (wo)man that turned away from any talk of America's new black president. Or an egotistical doctor that staunchly refused to believe his/her diagnosis was wrong. It refused to change.

And the bible. God, the bible. It was so contradicting and hypocritical, it left me pulling my hair out. It left too much room for interpretation, which isn't usually a bad thing, unless it was declared the 'word of God' and therefore, gave people the right to do things that just shouldn't be done. And the God described in the bible, the holy men described in the bible, and all the things they did... God. I did not want to be a part of that.

In the end, my declaration of atheism came with my anger at the oppression of women within the Christian community, and within the bible. It was the last straw that turned me away from any religion. Even in this modern society, Christianity, and many other religions, does entail a certain inequality among the genders. Sometimes, it's very obvious, but other times it's very subtle. And that, as an Equal Opportunist, was not something I could deal with.

But ultimately, my denouncement of Christianity came from an accumulations of wrongs.

I did not want to worship, nor did I believe in, a god that created this world to be so unfair. To give one creature an innate superiority over another. Maybe one had an advantage physically, but surely not to the point where they were given the right to control another. Upon noticing these factors to most religions, I declared that I was atheist. I would not be a part of a religion that I did not wholly believe in. But yet, I prayed every single night. Every. Single. Night.

Maybe it was habit, maybe it was my inner mind telling the rest of me that my mom had succeeded in turning me religious, if only just. Eventually, I came to terms with my inner mind and declared myself with a god. My god loves and accepts everyone for what they are. My god cannot, and does not want to, control us or the world around us. (S)He generally loves and cares for all that is created. Sure, (s)he gets disappointed in us sometimes, but (s)he will never stop rooting for us.

But ultimately, my god does not give a shit. (S)He has better things to do.

My religion has no names. It needs no followers. And it's constantly changing, day by day. It has morals that I try to adhere to.

There is no heaven and hell. So when I die... I'll just cease to exist.

But maybe, just maybe, someone out there got it all right.

And I'll end up in hell.

Oh well.

(P.S. I didn't mean for this to be about bashing Christianity. If anything, it's bashing all religions. But really, it's about me explaining why I turned away from traditional religion. But yes, I don't mind bashing religions. In fact, I think religions (NOT THE PEOPLE!!!) need a good bashing.)

15 May 2012

I'm An Equal Opportunist

When I tell people this, they usually go, "What's that?"

It's a phrase that I like to think I coined myself, but I'm sure there's others out there who identify themselves as equal opportunists. Actually, I recently learned that equal opportunist has something to do with sex. Bisexual?

But that's not what I mean when I say equal opportunist (I'm straight, though there's nothing wrong with being curved). Equal opportunist is when one believes that everyone (regardless of race, class, gender, religion, sexual orientation, etc) should have equal opportunities. They should all have the same chance to go to a top notch school. They should all have the same opportunity to strive for what they want to accomplish. They should all have the right to choose what they want to do as their job, how to raise their children (if they want kids), how to live.

Of course, if they want to be a lawyer, they'd have to actually work for it. They'd have to study and try hard. If they had slacked their whole lives and applied for the same job as someone who graduated from... Harvard with straight As then they probably shouldn't get the job. But that one from Harvard shouldn't have a greater chance than the one who was also from Harvard with similar, if not better, grades, just because that one is black, or a woman, or from the slums of Detroit. That shouldn't matter.

Equal opportunist isn't only about the gender of someone, but it's the best example I can think of.

Women (and men) should be able to choose what she (he) wants to do. Most feminists feel disdain and/or for the traditional homebody housewife who takes care of the kids and cleans the house while her doctor husband brings home the bacon. But if that's what she (or he) wants, as an equal opportunist, I say, go for it! Just as I'd say go for it to a woman (or man) who does not want a single child and wants to become President of the United States. Now, if that first woman did not want to be the housewife with the 2.5 kids and white picket fence, and instead had wanted to be the President, I'd pity her. Especially if she had grown up in a sexist environment where she was strongly discouraged to reach for her dreams. I'd feel as if she was wronged. And as a fellow woman, I'd feel wronged.

As an equal opportunist, I may not want the same things that you'd want, but I'd defend your right to want it. (Unless it's against my morals)

02 May 2012

Another Reason I Don't Want to be Pregnant

Hey guys! You probably don't know but I NEVER want to be pregnant. Never have, never will.
I'll list some reasons later, but here's a new one that I just discovered.
When pregnant, I get LESS rights than the already lousy rights I have now.
Here's the link >> http://www.thefrisky.com/2012-05-01/the-soapbox-in-america-we-treat-our-moms-like-second-class-citizens/

It's not that I ever decide to do drugs because personally, I never plan on doing so. I'm a hedonist, so I know that if I like it, I'll never stop. Anyways, what if I get slipped drugs or something and I never find out till the baby gets tested and comes out positive. Or something like that. Or I didn't know I was pregnant and had some pills or something. Seriously? This law is unfair. Already pregnant women have to go through with... well, PREGNANCY! And LABOR! It's so scary. So crappy. And now, we're getting less rights than we do now?

Yeah, I get it. The whole protecting potential little buggers. But my body IS MINE! Even while I have a fetus growing inside me. I'd like to be able to do what I like. Keep my choices (I'm VERY pro-choice). If I love this fetus, most likely I'd keep the fetus and not endanger said fetus.

GAH! I can't continue.

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